"Common" misconceptions about Islam.
(And, no, this is not a joke or a satire or a parody. These are real 'misconceptions' from apparently very stupid tourists and answers from a real Muslim. For some bizarre reason his answers don't make me feel any safer traveling to an Islamic country...)
Misconception: Muslims are fundamentalists.
Answer: Every Muslim should understand the fundamentals of Islam, and should be a fundamentalist. I am proud to call myself a 'Muslim Fundamentalist'. I submit that every Muslim should be a terrorist. Just as the policeman strikes terror in the heart of the thief, so should every Muslim strike terror in the heart of the thief, the rapist and other anti-social elements! [Ed: Like... Equality? Free speech? Tolerance?]
Misconception: Going around the Kabah is idol worship.
The Muslims do not worship Kabah, only God, or Allah. While circumambulating the Kabah they chant: La Illa Ha Ill-lal-lah. (There is no object worthy of worship but Allah). The Kabah is for unifying Muslims at prayer. It would be chaotic if Muslims prayed in any direction they chose. [Ed: Riiiight. Imagine how confused everyone would be if they didn't know the direction everyone else was praying to...]
Misconception: Muslims are ruthless non-vegetarian people.
If no one eats meat the number of cattle will be uncontrollable. It will be a big problem about how to dispose of them. [Ed: Egad! We'd be overrun with wild cows if we didn't eat beef!]
Misconception: Muslims eat animals and behave like animals.
Muslims eat only herbivorous animals (animals that eat only plants, grass, leaves etc). These animals are peaceful animals, like goat, lamb etc. Therefore, we are peaceful people. [Ed: Err...]
Misconception: Muslims wrongly don't eat pork.
The pig is a filthy animal; it eats human excreta. It has to protective instinct for its female. It is a shameless animal. Therefore people who eat its flesh, have no shame if their females mate with other men. [Ed: "...Infidels wrongly eat BLTs, thus, they are wrongly filthy."]