Dear Human Beings...

My name is Shabana and as my name suggests, I am an animal. I was born as a human being, but being a Muslima, I chose to live the life of an animal. Today, I proudly consider myself an animal, though I look like a human being. I am ashamed of my physical appearance, so I cover myself with a tent like garment called Burkhah. Only my eyes are seen outside. I told you about my dress only to make you understand how much we Muslims hate human beings. We are even ashamed of our appearance, i.e. of human beings. All kafirs are dirty human beings. All Muslims are proud animals. Like you human beings have your own religions called Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism etc, we animals also have our own religion called Islam. Animals who follow Islam are called Muslims. All animals are not Muslims, but all Muslims are animals. We have our own animal god called Mr. Allah, the most merciful (Allah is his surname). There are 1.4 billion Muslims all over the world. So we are not a rare species like polar bears. The scientific name for Muslims is Islamo Homo sapiens.

The story of islamo homo sapiens is quite interesting. 1400 years ago, we were also human beings (homo sapiens). As you people definitely know, homo sapiens belong to the animal kingdom. But homo sapiens are different from other animals in a number of ways. Human beings have a highly developed and complex brain, which makes human beings different from animals. This complex brain is also a curse for human beings. Desires for love and need for companionship etc are the elements of a complex organ and it makes the life of a human being quite difficult. To be born as a human being is a big curse. But the human beings were left with no other option till ‘Islam’ came into existence. Human beings worship God by different names. God sent prophets by different names to make human beings understand how to lead a good life. Jesus Christ, Sree Buddha, Mahavir, Guru Nanak were all such prophets (I have no intention of teaching human beings about human beings, but to understand ‘islamo homo sapiens’ a thorough knowledge about ‘homo sapiens’ is quite necessary). 1400 years ago, God sent only animal prophet called Muhammad Nabi to earth. He is also considered as the last prophet. Muhammad taught human beings how to convert to animals. Biologists call this technique “reverse evolution”. The human beings who converted to animals are called Muslims. We the Muslims may have animals’ instinct but it doesn’t mean that we have got something against birds. We love birds. That is the reason why Muslim women dress like crows and Muslim men dress like pigeons.

The life of an animal is thousand times better than the life of a human being. Muhammad Nabi (prophet) wanted to convert maximum number of human beings to animals. Sometimes we have to impose good things on others if others are reluctant in choosing good things on their own. The human beings who converted were asked to wage war on other human beings and impose Islam on them. Islam is a way of life, that is, way of life of an animal. Muhammad Nabi also wrote a book on how a human being can live like an animal. The book is called “Koran” and we Muslims have a great respect for this book. Muhammad Nabi was a perfect example of how a human being can turn into an animal. He has set an example before us and all of us are eager to follow his footsteps. Sharia is a law made by him and his animal friends. We, Muslims consider sharia as Mr. Allah’s own law. Our animal god, Allah is the most merciful so he gives the toughest punishment. Sharia is a perfect example for that.

There is one more reason why sharia is a tough law. As we Muslims are animals, we don’t have self-control like human beings. If a girl is walking naked on the streets, a kafir may look at her curiously but may not jump on her. But our Muslim men will no be able to control themselves and it is a sure bet that the girl will be raped. Even by seeing the hands, legs or face of a woman, a Muslim man gets sexually aroused. Self-control is a word, which is not there in our Islamic dictionary. Even our prophet never tried to hide his animal like sexual urges. He not only enjoyed many women, he also tried a 9-yr old girl. We are proud of his animal instincts. If our men prefer to have sex with many wives, it is because our prophet taught us to do so. We are thankful to our animal god Mr. Allah, the most merciful for giving us the mindset of an animal. We do all sorts of funny things (you silly human beings will find it funny, but we are quite serious) to have some control on our self but it is all in vain. We animals not only seduce other animals, we seduce human beings as well. Yes, we have been able to convert a lot of human beings to animals using our seduction technique.

We Muslims enjoy living like animals. We want others also to join us in living like animals. To understand the fun in living like an animal, you have to become an animal yourself. For this reason, we always try to propagate Islamic agenda. I request all human beings to convert to animals to understand how great our life is. Some of the human beings are also helping us in propagating Islamic agenda. Rashtriya Swayemsevak Sangh (R.S.S), which is a hard-line Hindu organization in India, has been lending support to us a number of ways for the last few decades. According to R.S.S., a Hindu woman should not wear Jeans and T-shirts. Hinduism sets no guidelines on the dressing of a Hindu woman, but we Muslims have succeeded in influencing hard-line Hindu organizations to propagate Islamism in the name of Hinduism. Bharathiya Janatha Party (B.J.P), which is the political offspring of R.S.S, and the former ruling party of India has gone a long way in spreading Islamism in the name of Hinduism. Hinduism as a religion respects individual freedom, but R.S.S and B.J.P has taken away individual freedom from the Hindus in our very own Islamic fashion under the pretext of Hinduism. This means we are able to make even our enemies propagate Islamic agenda. Maybe that our animal god Mr. Allah, the most merciful has succeeded in influencing the likings of humane Hindu gods. If this has happened in India, this can happen in other parts of the world too. We Muslims influence others and make them spread Islamic agenda even without their knowledge. I challenge human beings to find out our methods of propagating Islamic agenda. You people consider yourself to be more intelligent than we animals. Find out if you can.

Wherever we go, we create our own Muslim only zones so that we can lead a peaceful animal life. Human beings always lead a disgusting life. We try to keep away from kafirs (kafir is another word for a human being) as much as possible.

In Saudi Arabia, an animal country, even human beings are forced to live like animals. Yes, we impose our beastly life on human beings in countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran. Our animal god has given us Islamic oil so that we can sell this oil to human beings and use that money for spreading animalism (Islam). Mr. Allah, the most merciful might have taken away our common sense, but he has blessed us with Islamic oil. It is called “brain for oil” program, not “oil for food” program as said by your United Nations Organization.

The famous T.V. channel Animal Planet is planning to produce a program based on our life. If you people want to know more about our animal life, you can watch that program. I just want FFI to stop criticizing our great animal religion “Islam”. If you continue to criticize Islam, some Muslims may get influenced by it and will convert back to human beings leaving Islam. Of course that is hard to happen. If someone changes his mind and decides to become a human, it is just because that he has deviated from the path shown by Mr. Allah, the most merciful according to our faith. People ruin their own lives when leave Islam. So I don’t think a lot of people will leave Islam, thanks to these kind of beliefs. Still, there is a chance that some people may leave Islam and start living like human beings after visiting websites that criticizes Islam. I don’t want that to happen. My husband is a mullah. He earns bread by exploiting the faith that other Muslims have in Mr. Allah the most merciful. If you people continue to criticize Islam, I will be deprived of my bread. So I once again request human beings to stop criticizing our animal like life and our animal prophet.

Love (?)

A Letter From An Animal

(Cross-posted at Avid Editor's Insights)